Problematic Pornography and Sex Use

People seek therapy for concerns about porn or sexual behaviour for many different reasons. For some, use has begun to feel out of control or misaligned with their values. For others, a partner’s behaviour has led to hurt, confusion, anger, or a breakdown of trust.

Shame and secrecy often keep these experiences hidden for a long time. Many people arrive unsure how to speak about what is happening, or worried about being judged or misunderstood.

I offer specialist psychosexual and relationship therapy for people experiencing problematic porn and sex use, and for partners affected by these behaviours.

When porn or sexual behaviour becomes a concern

Porn or sexual behaviour may feel problematic when it:

feels compulsive or difficult to control
interferes with intimacy, desire, or arousal
leads to secrecy, guilt, or shame
feels disconnected from personal values
becomes a source of conflict or emotional distance in a relationship
is used primarily to manage stress, anxiety, or difficult emotions

Partners may experience loss of trust, confusion, anger, or a sense of being excluded. These experiences can feel deeply painful and isolating.

How I understand this work

In my practice, I use the term problematic porn and sex use rather than diagnostic or moralising labels. This reflects a contemporary, non-pathologising therapeutic approach.

The focus is not on labelling behaviour or offering a “cure”, but on understanding what sits beneath patterns of use. Porn or sexual behaviour often serves a function — such as coping with stress, disconnection, anxiety, or unmet needs — even when it is causing harm.

Therapy offers space to explore these patterns with care, curiosity, and honesty, without shame.

How therapy can help

Therapy can support you to:

understand the role porn or sexual behaviour plays in your life
notice triggers, patterns, and cycles more clearly
reduce shame and secrecy
develop greater self-awareness and choice
work towards a more connected and authentic sexual life

Where appropriate, therapy can also support partners to process impact, rebuild trust, and explore boundaries and needs together.

This work is carefully paced and tailored. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, and no pressure to move faster than feels manageable.

Ways of working

I work with people in individual and couple therapy.
Sessions are offered online and in person in Essex (London / Colchester area).

I am COSRT-registered and work in accordance with professional and ethical standards. I also welcome referrals from healthcare professionals and therapists seeking specialist psychosexual or relationship therapy support.

A gentle invitation

If concerns about porn or sexual behaviour are affecting you or your relationship, you are very welcome to get in touch to explore whether therapy might be helpful.